The OFFICIAL Random thread

[ScubaDude]

Crap I didn't jump to the end!

 

[frhrwa]

[FONT=&quot]It was a terrible nightmare, the most horrible one you could imagine. In the nightmare I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at a mirror on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am a Negro, and I’m circumcised! Quickly I jumped up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find my driver license photo – and it was that same color. Black! No, No, God no, it can’t be!! I felt myself being very depressed, downcast, sitting in a chair. But, oh no, it’s a wheelchair!![/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]That means, of course, besides being black and Jewish, I’m also disabled!!! I said to myself, aloud, “this is impossible. It’s impossible that I should be black and Jewish and disabled.”[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“It’s the pure and holy truth”, whispers someone from behind me. I turn around, and it’s my Boyfriend. Just what I needed!!! I am a homosexual ***** and on top of that with a Mexican boyfriend. Son of a *****!!!! Oh my God.... Black, Jewish, disabled, gay, with a Mexican boyfriend drug addict, and HIV-positive!!![/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, pull my hair, and ... oh noooooo.... I’m Bald!!![/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The telephone rings. It’s my brother. He is saying, “Since mom and dad died, the only thing you do is hang out, take drugs, and laze around all day doing nothing. Get a job you worthless piece of crap... Any job.” Mom?... Dad?... Nooooooooo... Now, I’m also an unemployed orphan![/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when you are black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, are a drug addict, HIV-positive, bald, and an orphan. But he doesn’t get it. Frustrated, I hang up... It’s then I realize I only have one hand!!! With tears in my eyes I go to the window to look out. I see I live in a shanty-town full of cardboard and tin houses! There is trash everywhere...[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Suddenly I feel a sharp pain near my pacemaker... Pacemaker? Besides being black, Jewish, Disabled, a fairy with a Mexican boyfriend, a drug addict, HIV-positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, an invalid with one hand, and having a bad heart, and I live in a crappy neighborhood. [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]At that very moment, my boyfriend approaches and says to me, “Sweetiepie, my love, my little black heart-throb, have you decided who you are going to vote for in the Primary?” Hillary or Barack?[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Son of a *****...! Say it isn’t so!!! I can handle being a black, disabled, one armed, drug addicted, Jewish queer on a Pacemaker who is HIV-positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, living in a slum, and has a Mexican boyfriend... but PLEASE don’t tell me I’m a Democrat!!!!![/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]

 

[tjlboise]

Roflmfao!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[ScubaDude]

Thats Schismist

 

[ScubaDude]

Thats, well thats everythingist

wow

 

[ronnieb]

funny

 

[ronnieb]

very funny

 

[ctjeep]

i have an 05 wrangler unlimited. my front end shakes/wobbles once i hit about 50mph. the steering wheel shakes but the jeep tracks straight. i comes and goes if i power through it. but it as worn my front left tire different the the others. i swapped fronts with back tires and it still did it. any one have ideas as to what else it could be?

 

[Megan G]

Dude, you got death wobble, have a Jeep mechanic look at your jeep

 

[Megan G]

Search the forum for death wobble. You'll find the info you need thrre

 

[tjlboise]

Yeah X2 on that last comment. Terry did a write up about the symptoms, and the fix. Just go to the search on the home page and type in death wobble. You find all you need to know there. Good luck. Shoulda bought a YJ

 

[ScubaDude]

Did you know that in new a york a car can be hot-wired in under a second and gone.

If you are unlocking your car from a distance it's outa here.

 

[tjlboise]

Saw this at the home depot today. Pretty good

 

[ScubaDude]

I resurrected the official random thread because I am officially random

arty::cookout::razz:iratenanner::beer::grin:
p0p:rofl::drunk::shades::shock::scratch::crazy:

 

[JPNinPA]

I was thinking about this thread today?

What is the price of eggs in China today?

 

[ScubaDude]

.35 yuan

(about 4 pennies)

When was the keyboard invented?

 

[JPNinPA]

"The QWERTY design is based on a layout created by Christopher Latham Sholes in 1900 in Millwateel, Wisconsin for the Soles and Gidden typewriter and sold to Remington in the same year, when it first appeared in typewriters."- Wiki
I had to look it up.

 

[JPNinPA]

.35 yuan

(about 4 pennies)

When was the keyboard invented?

Thanks. All these yeas I never knew.
When I was a kid (~9) and asked an out of the blue, random, off topic question. An adult would ask " And what does that have to do with the price of eggs in China?" And, well not knowing the price of eggs, I'd wouldn't know what to say.
I wouldn't get my off topic question answered either.

 

[JPNinPA]

Are there jeeps on every continent?

 

[ScubaDude]

Not sure about antarctica but I have personally seen them in South, Central and north America, also Europe. And I have seen pictures of them in Asia, and Australia, and Africa although land rovers are more common there.

It's a safe guess yes but I would say not in either of the arctic regions.