The OFFICIAL Random thread
- Thread starter mingez
- Start date
SteelHeadz
Super Moderator
How to start each day with a positive outlook:
1. Open a new file in your computer.
2. Name it 'Barack Obama'.
3.. Send it to the Recycle Bin.
4.. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC will ask you: "Do you really want to get rid of 'Barack
Obama?"
6. Firmly Click 'Yes.'
7. Feel better?
GOOD! - Tomorrow we'll do Nancy Pelosi
1. Open a new file in your computer.
2. Name it 'Barack Obama'.
3.. Send it to the Recycle Bin.
4.. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC will ask you: "Do you really want to get rid of 'Barack
Obama?"
6. Firmly Click 'Yes.'
7. Feel better?
GOOD! - Tomorrow we'll do Nancy Pelosi
TJ_Jeep
New member
Haha Mikey that actually cheered me up tonight. Today's been a sucky day
Collin the Hen
New member
That's good. After Nancy, can we do Al Gore, too?
1984potato
New member
Is it me or does Nancy look just a wee bit crazy? This is definitely the pot calling the kettle black because I lost my mind a long time ago.
ItsWitzMoab
New member
Louis Satchmo Armstrong grew from one of the poorest people in america to becaome one of the most loved people in the world!
It was SatchelMouth until a 1932 visit to England. It became Satch, Pops, and even Ambassador Satch; Louis was the first American to appear behind the Iron Curtain ("you couldn't count the russians who came to hear .. 'Our Louie' " ). The first black to receive an Academy Award nomination for acting (in Goin' Places; where btw; he introduced the song "Jeepers Creepers" ! ) !!!!
just to mention that Louis was a great writer also, writing the first history (HIS story) of jazz; "Swing That Music" (1936), and a sequel "My Life in New Orleans" (1954), and other writings availible from Oxford Press "Louis Armstrong; In His Own Words"
"Love baby. Love... THAT's the secret" (Pops).
Check out this 1932 film of Satch in Amsterdam.
It was SatchelMouth until a 1932 visit to England. It became Satch, Pops, and even Ambassador Satch; Louis was the first American to appear behind the Iron Curtain ("you couldn't count the russians who came to hear .. 'Our Louie' " ). The first black to receive an Academy Award nomination for acting (in Goin' Places; where btw; he introduced the song "Jeepers Creepers" ! ) !!!!
just to mention that Louis was a great writer also, writing the first history (HIS story) of jazz; "Swing That Music" (1936), and a sequel "My Life in New Orleans" (1954), and other writings availible from Oxford Press "Louis Armstrong; In His Own Words"
"Love baby. Love... THAT's the secret" (Pops).
Check out this 1932 film of Satch in Amsterdam.
SteelHeadz
Super Moderator
Natural Born Citizens
Sleepless in Seattle , Clueless in Pullman
In a Pullman Washington college classroom, they were discussing the
qualifications to be President of the United States . It was pretty
simple - the candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35
years of age.
However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was
the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was
that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming
president. The class was taking it in and letting her rant, but
everyone's jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by
stating, 'What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead
this country than one born by C-section?'
These are the 18 year olds that just voted for the President of the
United States .
Sleepless in Seattle , Clueless in Pullman
In a Pullman Washington college classroom, they were discussing the
qualifications to be President of the United States . It was pretty
simple - the candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35
years of age.
However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was
the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was
that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming
president. The class was taking it in and letting her rant, but
everyone's jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by
stating, 'What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead
this country than one born by C-section?'
These are the 18 year olds that just voted for the President of the
United States .
Collin the Hen
New member
DOH! :redface:
NeHi
New member
I just want to thank you for the opportunity I just had. I had a conversation with an individual that made me feel very dirty and awkward. lol
Low Ranger
New member
So, is this the begining of the end of the good ole USA? There's alotta talk saying that's the case. I'd like to think we can still rally together as before. It's gonna be a shame if our kids can't enjoy the lifestyle we've had. We go out on the weekends and play with the toys we put together, which is all well and good, but what is it going to take for us to become active in our government again? When was the last time we attended a city council meeting or sat in on a school board meeting? That's where the change will happen people -- when the politician see that we are starting to watch what they do with our money maybe they'll be more responsible with it.
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Low Ranger
New member
I did the chat with a stranger too. It was a waste of time for me, the dude was gay.
NeHi
New member
Amen to that. The only thing I am hesitant about is a political conversation via the interwebs without initial ground rules. I have been affiliated with a few online communities that were ripped at their seams by the demon known as "political discussion". However, I still endorse the idea of talking about it. I also endorse the ability to laugh at it. So threads like these are wonderful in that we all get a hearty laugh from a good joke. I just hope that if something was presented from the opposite view that it won't be flamed. I know it is a forum rule here to not flame, I just hope that the community is mature enough to live by and ,if needed, enforce that rule. I only hope that EVERY view is tolerated, but I do expect a hearty rebuke to be tolerated as well. I want to make sure no one is scared to offer their opinion and jump start a discussion.
So, if anyone (*cough* Low Ranger *cough*) were to start a semi-permanent political thread, I would try to help the conversation. Also, on a personal note, I would make sure to throttle myself down, stay mature, and hopefully encourage an open conversation.
Also, I know I am new here, so if someone thinks I should shut up in general about this topic (at least on these forums) I'll keep the jeep stuff here and truck my politics somewhere else, lol.
Well it's been a good long while since ive been able to find my way back to jeepz. I do miss it and all the good people that go along with it. The brown pearl (my cj) has been forsale for over a year with no bites, just some tire kickers and kids with no money. I want to take it as a sign to keep it but only time can tell what's in store for her. The motor is toast and I havent been back to see her in months. I moved north and currently reside in Monterey Bay. Hope everyone is well.
avan
New member
The Current Economical Crisis
Finally an explanation I understand.
Heidi is the proprietor of a bar somewhere in Texas. In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the
drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).
Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar.
Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.
A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit.
He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.
At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as
their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.
One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently of course fired due his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the
drinkers at Heidi's bar.
However they cannot pay back the debts.
Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy.
DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95 %. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %.
The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.
The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.
The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.
Finally an explanation I understand.
Heidi is the proprietor of a bar somewhere in Texas. In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the
drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).
Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar.
Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.
A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit.
He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.
At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as
their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.
One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently of course fired due his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the
drinkers at Heidi's bar.
However they cannot pay back the debts.
Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy.
DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95 %. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %.
The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.
The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.
The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.
SteelHeadz
Super Moderator
How to maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't DisguiseYour Voice!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana'
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache..
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
14.. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER, AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't DisguiseYour Voice!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana'
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache..
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
14.. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER, AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
SteelHeadz
Super Moderator
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France(Surprise!). Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea or is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick
I may doubt what you say but I will always believe what you do.
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick
I may doubt what you say but I will always believe what you do.
