Laughter.... the color of life

[prariepunk]

Mr. Brown was a biology instructor at a snobby suburban girl's junior college. During class one day he asked his student, "Miss Simison, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions."

Miss Simison gasped, and then said, "Mr. Brown, I don't think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this. "With that she sat down red-faced.

Mr. Brown then called on Miss Hakar and asked the same question. Miss Hakar, with composure, replied, "The pupil of the eye, in dim light."

"Correct," said Mr. Brown. "And now, Miss Simison, I have three things to say to you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."

 

[prariepunk]

Three men lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they passed a trial. The first step of the trial was to enter the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So, all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, “I brought ten apples.” The king then explained, “Next, you have to shove the fruits up your butt without so much as an expression on your face, or you’ll be eaten.” The first apple went in, but on the second he winced in pain, and was killed.

The second one arrived, and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy.

1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter, and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, “Why did you laugh? You almost got away with it!”

The second one replied, I couldn’t help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples.”

 

[prariepunk]

Laughter.... the color of life Cont.

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"

Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The blonde shouts, "fire!!"

 

[prariepunk]

EVERGLADES NATIONAL PARK, Fla. -- In this photo provided by the Everglades National Park, the carcass of a six-foot American alligator is shown protruding from the mid-section of a 13-foot Burmese python in Everglades National Park, Fla., after the snake apparently swallowed the alligator, resulting in the deaths of both animals.

 

[prariepunk]

Summthin' to make you go "WTF?!?"

BARCELONA, Spain -- A handout picture released Monday Aug. 1, 2005 shows Duncan Rooke, 32, left and Stephen Buss, 30, as they haul in a record-breaking catfish in the River Ebro, near Barcelona in Spain on July 6, 2005. The 7ft 7in, (2.3 meters) 212lb (96kgms) female fish isthe biggest freshwater catch ever made by a British angler and nearly pulled 32-year-old gas engineer Rooke back into the river once he had hold of her. After weighing the fish and burping her to get rid of the air in her stomach, she was released. (08/01/05 AP photo)

 

[prariepunk]

Summthin' to make you go "WTF?!?"

PROVIDENCE, R.I. -- People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) member Chris Link of Norfolk, Va., top, adjusts the cellophane covering on the costume of demonstrator Dezeray Rubinchik of Philadelphia, top right, during a protest in front of the Statehouse, in Providence, R.I. The protest, in which three people placed themselves in containers resembling supermarket meat trays, was meant to compare eating meat with cannibalism. PETA member Karolina Colwill of Sioux Falls, S.D., appears center. (06/06/05 AP photo)






They should have sealed the packages better, huh? I'm all for P.E.T.A, if it stands for
People for the
Edible
Treatment of
Animals :twisted:

 

[prariepunk]

Re: RE: GL5 or GL3?

SALVADOR, Brazil -- Ademilton, a 16.7 pound baby boy is seen at the Albert Sabin Maternity Hospital. Francisca Ramos dos Santos, 38, gave birth to the healthy boy named Ademilton on Tuesday. He was the largest baby born at the Albert Sabin Maternity Hospital in its 12-year history, the hospital said. "Obviously the baby was born by Caesarean section," hospital director Rita Leal said. "Both mother and baby are doing just fine." (01/18/05 AP Photo/AE)



My wife would BURN MY JEEP and then kill me

 

[prariepunk]

RE: Summthin

UL, Korea -- The X-ray picture shows a 5-centimeter nail stuck in an unidentified South Korean patient's skull Thursday, Dec. 2, 2004. According to a Seoul hospital, doctors found the nail after the man came to the hospital, complaining about a severe headache. They speculate that the nail stuck in the man's head four years ago in an accident but the man didn't know about it. The nail was removed in a surgery last Saturday. (12/07/04 AP photo)


HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS KIND OF ACCIDENT :shock:

 

[prariepunk]

Re: RE: Re: RE: Pics of Dripping Springs New Mexico (large p

TAIPEI, Taiwan -- A frame grab from video shows a lion attacking a man who jumped into the animal's enclosure and shouted "Jesus will save you" at the Taipei Zoo. The man, identified only by his surname, Chen, suffered from bite marks on his arms and legs. "He took this dangerous action today because he imagined he heard voices," psychiatrist Teng Hui-wen told reporters, saying his case was still being investigated. (11/03/04 AP photo)


"Jesus will save you", huh?
Well, he may save us but that lion has YOUR ass! :lol:

 

[prariepunk]

Summthin' to make you go "WTF?!?"

LONDON -- Garry Turner from Lincolnshire, England, who has the world's stretchiest skin, demonstrates his talents to a passer-by on the Millennium Bridge in central London to promote the fiftieth anniversary of the Guinness World Records and the new 2005 edition of the book. (09/09/04 AP photo)


OK......WTF?!?

 

[prariepunk]

su

MADRAS, India -- C. Manoharan Snake Manu practices with a garden snake by running it through his nose and out his mouth in an attempt to create a Guinness Record. Manu plans to set the record by using a live cobra. (09/02/04 AP photo)

 

[Sparky-Watts]

I stared at this picture for 5 minutes before I realized there was even anything in the right half of the frame...... :shock:

 

[LadyJeepFreak]

Soooooooooooo, how many think that picture of the catfish is real? Freshwater too? That is crazy!!

Purpleygirl I loved your joke about the dipsticks in washington. lol You all did make me smile today.

Heather

 

[Sparky-Watts]

RE: Windshield wipers

Soooooooooooo, how many think that picture of the catfish is real? Freshwater too? That is crazy!!

Purpleygirl I loved your joke about the dipsticks in washington. lol You all did make me smile today.

Heather

Yuppers, it's true. Saw it on the news not too long after it was caught. That's one big-o-catfish!! :shock:

 

[prariepunk]

I R "eLiterate"

 

[prariepunk]

Some famous faces when they were younger. Some you can spot but others are harder to pick out. See how many you can get! ANSWERS BELOW
1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Well, how'd ya do?




The ANSWERS ARE........

1. Bruce Willis

2. Courtney Love

3. David Duchoveny

4. Halle Berry

5. Helen Hunt

6. Jimi Hendrix

7. Julia Roberts

8. Madonna

9. Marilyn Manson

10. Pam Anderson

 

[prariepunk]

Some more?

OK, the last two are kinda a give away but the first couple were hard, right?


1. Demi Moore

2. Eminem

3. George Clooney

4. Keanu Reeves

5. Kurt Cobain

6. Leonardo Dicaprio

7. Mick Jagger

8. Nicole Kidman

9. Sarah Jessica Parker

10. Tom Hanks

 

[prariepunk]

Guess Who They Are

Focus on the center + and the dots disappear

 

[prariepunk]

When would YOU throw in the towel?

 

[prariepunk]

I wonder what the Honda runs in 1/4's