The OFFICIAL Random thread
- Thread starter mingez
- Start date
TwistedCU
New member
TwistedCU
New member
yeah but I have to side with SW. I did turn my popup blocker off, but like him I was just more disappointed.
That was just a very lame post, Mingez, We really have come to expect much more from you here. We'll let it slide this time but for goodness sake man try to tighten up a bit, 'eh?
:lol:Extra-terrestrials from the planet Koob in the star system Rigel Kentaurus announced today their 200,000-year program of observing and testing human life is now complete. The announcement is expected to come as a great relief to the millions of individuals whose generally unwilling participation in the program has long been met with ridicule, ostracism and flawed diagnoses of mental disorders.
"Paranoid schizophrenics everywhere are celebrating in the streets today," Dr. Ross Wolfe, a clinical psychiatrist with the Bellevue Hospital Center in New York, said. "For many of them, this announcement serves as a complete vindication that will finally release them from their dismal regimens of lithium, involuntary internment, and tawdry tinfoil hats."
"I always felt like there might be someone up there watching," Jared Sugar, a San Bernardino County skateboard repairman, said, "but I always thought it was probably God or the government or something. It's pretty freaking cool to know we've actually been being studied all this time by, like, really smart aliens.
More here - http://www.avantnews.com/modules/news/article.php?storyid=326
"Paranoid schizophrenics everywhere are celebrating in the streets today," Dr. Ross Wolfe, a clinical psychiatrist with the Bellevue Hospital Center in New York, said. "For many of them, this announcement serves as a complete vindication that will finally release them from their dismal regimens of lithium, involuntary internment, and tawdry tinfoil hats."
"I always felt like there might be someone up there watching," Jared Sugar, a San Bernardino County skateboard repairman, said, "but I always thought it was probably God or the government or something. It's pretty freaking cool to know we've actually been being studied all this time by, like, really smart aliens.
More here - http://www.avantnews.com/modules/news/article.php?storyid=326
Last edited:
90Xjay
New member
No no no, you got me all wrong. I just wanted to point that out, I wasn't trying to give you grief for it. I mean, it's obvious to me that Kansas is the state equivalent of a black hole in the universe of intelligence. Look above, he didn't even turn off his pop up blocker... I need no further proof.
yeah, I think I hear Stephen Hawking mention that once...:lol:
mud4feet
New member
(from another Jeep Forum):
The Wal Mart Husband
Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that he go with her to Walmart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to her from the store.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.
All complaints against Mr Fenton are listed below.
Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in
Walmart:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares... and watched what happened.
5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.
11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12 Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
And last, but not least ....
15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
The Wal Mart Husband
Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that he go with her to Walmart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to her from the store.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.
All complaints against Mr Fenton are listed below.
Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in
Walmart:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares... and watched what happened.
5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.
11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12 Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
And last, but not least ....
15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
Utah_jeepster
Super Moderator
On his way home a father remembers that it's His daughter's birthday.
At a toy store he asked the salesperson, "How much is the Barbie in the
display window?"
The salesperson answered, "Which one?
We Have: Work out Barbie for $19.95... Shopping Barbie for $19.95...
Beach Barbie for $19.95,.... Disco Barbie for $19.95, ....and Divorced
Barbie for $265.95.
The amazed father asked: " Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and
the Others only $19.95?"
Annoyed, the salesman answered: "Sir... "Divorced Barbie comes with:
Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer
...................And......One of Ken's Friends.!!!!!!!!
At a toy store he asked the salesperson, "How much is the Barbie in the
display window?"
The salesperson answered, "Which one?
We Have: Work out Barbie for $19.95... Shopping Barbie for $19.95...
Beach Barbie for $19.95,.... Disco Barbie for $19.95, ....and Divorced
Barbie for $265.95.
The amazed father asked: " Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and
the Others only $19.95?"
Annoyed, the salesman answered: "Sir... "Divorced Barbie comes with:
Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer
...................And......One of Ken's Friends.!!!!!!!!
akjeep
New member
mud4feet
New member
You're right................that was a complete waste of time.........:roll:
Sparky-Watts
Banned
Wonder how I could get a job as a feather there.......
90Xjay
New member
Wonder how I could get a job as a feather there.......
If Sparky were a feather on her butt, they would BOTH be tickled.
TwistedCU
New member
Well... they broke a few rules :lol:
