Sparky-Watts
Banned
The following is the opening few paragraphs of the sermon that our Pastor delivered in church a few weeks ago. She really caught my attention with this one. The sermon went on to talk about being baptised in the muddy waters of the Jordan, and held a powerful message. I liked the opening so much, I thought I'd share it with you all:
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Flip on the telly during the NFL Wild Card football games this weekend and you’re likely to see a bunch of commercials touting a variety of next-generation SUVs.
Each ad looks about the same — attractive people load up their oversized 4x4 to head out over some terrain negotiable only by Rocky Mountain bighorn sheep, throwing up dirt and gravel all the way. The automotive action is usually followed by an image of the same folks setting up camp or jumping into a kayak or dangling off a rock.
Looks like fun — looks being the operative word here.
The truth is that only about 5 percent of SUVs are ever taken off-road, which means that you’re more likely to see a Range Rover at Starbucks, for example, than anywhere near a mountain lake. For most SUV owners, the look and the possibility of one day actually locking in the four-wheel drive are worth the extra bucks in the purchase price.
Given the current debate about rising gas prices, oil shortages, environmental impacts and alternative energy, however, one can understand why some SUV owners feel they need to explain themselves to their green-thinking peers. Why have four-wheel drive if the only dirt those four wheels will ever touch is the fringe of the kids’ soccer field?
But wait! Thanks to a new product, SUV owners don’t need to put up with either the guilt or the critics. With “Sprayonmud†they can create the illusion that their SUV has, on more than one occasion, been baptized in mountain mud.
For a mere $14.50 per quart-sized bottle you can buy actual mud to spray on your vehicle in order to make it look as though you’ve just bumped back from a wild ride in the wilderness when, in fact, you’ve been merely hiking through the aisles at Costco.
Says the promotional material, “If you’ve got a 4X4 or off-roader, Sprayonmud will send a message to anyone who disapproves or is just plain envious — you use your off-roader, off the road as well as on it.†Inside each quart-sized plastic container is real dirt from the UK (where the product originates), mixed with water and a “secret ingredient†which helps the mud stick to the vehicle’s body.
A few strategic squirts on the fenders and you’ve got an Escalade that’s dirtier than a mudslide, or dirtier than Tom Brady’s jersey on a rainy Boston Sunday afternoon. Beats that banged-up pickup with the gun rack in the rear window — right thar by the Confederate flag.
Now, we can assume that anyone willing to shell out nearly three bucks a gallon to gas up a vehicle whose mileage is measured in single digits will have no problem paying for mud. Real off-roaders, though, know that the best mud is free and generally available. Their vehicles wear that mud as a badge of honor, marking them as adventurers.
Fake-mudders mark themselves as, well, fakers. To be real you have to go where the dirt is.
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Flip on the telly during the NFL Wild Card football games this weekend and you’re likely to see a bunch of commercials touting a variety of next-generation SUVs.
Each ad looks about the same — attractive people load up their oversized 4x4 to head out over some terrain negotiable only by Rocky Mountain bighorn sheep, throwing up dirt and gravel all the way. The automotive action is usually followed by an image of the same folks setting up camp or jumping into a kayak or dangling off a rock.
Looks like fun — looks being the operative word here.
The truth is that only about 5 percent of SUVs are ever taken off-road, which means that you’re more likely to see a Range Rover at Starbucks, for example, than anywhere near a mountain lake. For most SUV owners, the look and the possibility of one day actually locking in the four-wheel drive are worth the extra bucks in the purchase price.
Given the current debate about rising gas prices, oil shortages, environmental impacts and alternative energy, however, one can understand why some SUV owners feel they need to explain themselves to their green-thinking peers. Why have four-wheel drive if the only dirt those four wheels will ever touch is the fringe of the kids’ soccer field?
But wait! Thanks to a new product, SUV owners don’t need to put up with either the guilt or the critics. With “Sprayonmud†they can create the illusion that their SUV has, on more than one occasion, been baptized in mountain mud.
For a mere $14.50 per quart-sized bottle you can buy actual mud to spray on your vehicle in order to make it look as though you’ve just bumped back from a wild ride in the wilderness when, in fact, you’ve been merely hiking through the aisles at Costco.
Says the promotional material, “If you’ve got a 4X4 or off-roader, Sprayonmud will send a message to anyone who disapproves or is just plain envious — you use your off-roader, off the road as well as on it.†Inside each quart-sized plastic container is real dirt from the UK (where the product originates), mixed with water and a “secret ingredient†which helps the mud stick to the vehicle’s body.
A few strategic squirts on the fenders and you’ve got an Escalade that’s dirtier than a mudslide, or dirtier than Tom Brady’s jersey on a rainy Boston Sunday afternoon. Beats that banged-up pickup with the gun rack in the rear window — right thar by the Confederate flag.
Now, we can assume that anyone willing to shell out nearly three bucks a gallon to gas up a vehicle whose mileage is measured in single digits will have no problem paying for mud. Real off-roaders, though, know that the best mud is free and generally available. Their vehicles wear that mud as a badge of honor, marking them as adventurers.
Fake-mudders mark themselves as, well, fakers. To be real you have to go where the dirt is.
