chuck norris facts

[klkb]

Chuck Norris built with his own two hands the house he was born in.

Why did you get me started on this? I have been chuck Norris joke free for almost a year. Ah laughter with overtones of the wife saying how retarded I am for laughing at this.

I could post on this thread until I duplicate myself.

 

[superj]

chuck norris had a starring role in the star wars movies, he was the force.

chuck norris is so cool, his drinks don't need ice

Man Law #241: No skinny jeans allowed unless approved by Chuck Norris..........................like Chuck Norris would approve of skinny jeans......

Chuck Norris once leaned on the Tower of Pisa....

Chuck Norris loves America. Almost as much as he loves God, gun rights, and the feeling of his enemies' blood dripping from his brow.

Some people sleep with a gun under their pillow. Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Chuck Norris was alloted his own section of Normandy Beach in 1944, and single-handedly disemboweled over 3,000 Germans using a potato peeler.

Chuck Norris' beard is a third degree black belt.

Chuck Norris supports your right to bear arms...unless he rips them from your torso.

Cyanide, one of the worlds most deadly anions, has chemical composition CN–. This is also Chuck Norris' initials. Coincidence?

Chuck Norris knows how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

this one is great: Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man. He gave baby Jesus the gift of the beard. Jesus wore it proudly until his dying day. The other three Wise Men, angered by Jesus' favoritism, had Chuck Norris removed from the Bible. The three wise men were later found dead, for mysterious roundhouse kick-related reasons.

The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse are a symbolic reference to Chuck Norris' limbs.

Chuck Norris has a word for a person he puts into a coma; that word is "lucky".

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross, just never his own.

The Ghostbusters call Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was originally considered for the lead role in 24. But after killing all of the terrorists in not 24 hours, but 24 seconds (he spent 23 cleaning up), the producers decided to go with someone else.

Chuck Norris finished an Everlasting Gobstopper.

 

[bugleboy]

did anyone else decide to click on beard highlited in blue on that last post? its not exactly the first image i get in my head when i think of a beard lol

 

[extra-medium]

I got the weirdest call today on my cell phone.

The weirdest part is I don't even have AT&T, or an iphone.

 

[buckshot500]

The Honey Badger does care, but only about Chuck Norris.

 

[superj]

did anyone else decide to click on beard highlited in blue on that last post? its not exactly the first image i get in my head when i think of a beard lol

what pops up? i am scared to try it at work

 

[Shephard10]

Contrary to prior belief, chuck Norris never deleted his recycling bin. He just scared it from existence.

 

[extra-medium]

Chuck Norris skipped a rock when he was a child. To this day it is still skipping across the surface of the ocean.

Chuck Norris can whistle in 5 different languages, including sign language.

Chuck Norris's biography is known as the Guinness Book of World Records.

 

[klkb]

what pops up? i am scared to try it at work

Just a picture of an alien-looking creature with a strange beard. Creepy!

 

[klkb]

I got the weirdest call today on my cell phone.

The weirdest part is I don't even have AT&T, or an iphone.

Hahahaha!!!

 

[bugleboy]

what pops up? i am scared to try it at work

its like the ongoing history of the beard lol

 

[superj]

Chuck Norris is so cool, he can speak French in russian