we have a fuel injector, not a carburator
No kidding? But if the IAC doesn't open during starting you may have no air either, so the same techniques used on an old carbureted vehicle may prove successful.
Three things you need for it to start, air, fuel and spark. Too much or too little of any of these will cause grief.
I've had an xj of one flavor or another since 87.
If you crank it long enough, with no air, it can flood.
If you open the throttle all the way during starting, the computer wil shut off the fuel injectors. You are then pumping only air and this may clear the excess fuel from the cylinders, at least well enough to get it to start. I'd then let it run at a steady 2000 RPM for awhile, so the motor cleans itself out.
You have a throttle body that controls the air into the motor, with the gas (air) pedal (along with the IAC at idle) and 6 fuel injectors which supply fuel directly into the intake manifold (metered by the computer PCM, with inputs from various sensors).
I wouldn't offer to much advice to your husband as long as he has the hammer in his hands. LOL
If the exhaust is crushed or the catalytic converter is plugged (has it been making a rattling sound lately, kind of like a tin can full of rocks?) it can cause the same thing. No exhaust out, no air in, kind of like a giant colic.
If the IAC is stuck shut it won't start unless you give it some pedal. If the IAC is stuck open the motor will/can idle really high. The IAC is constantly opening and closing as you work the gas (air) pedal, it can and will stick almost anyplace. It's a small piston opened and closed by a very small electric motor.