My english paper

jeepdude832

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safari rack

I just wrote this paper this week for my English class. Tell me what you guys think




Christian Frankenhauser
10/1/03
The idea of leaving the pavement in a vehicle may seem a little weird to some people. In fact the only off road use that most cars will ever see is when they are forced to park on the grass at a family picnic or god forbid there wheels veer off the side of the driveway as they back out into the street. Most individuals have no need for their car or truck to perform off road. None the less, the SUV craze has caught America by storm literally. Every winter people buy four wheel drive trucks and SUV’s for the added traction in the snow and ice. They even make four-wheel drive minivans now to try and regain those soccer moms who have crossed over to the testosterone driven side of big gas hog monsters known as the sport utility vehicle. Although very practical for hauling kids and groceries in style even these 4 runners, Tahoes, and Land Rovers hardly ever go off the asphalt. These utes are very capable in mud and on rocky back roads with full time all wheel drive, selectable 4lo and traction control. There is one vehicle however that has built its name upon the very rocks and hills on which it so freely roams regularly. The “Jeep Wrangler” it may even be one of Americas first SUVs. First introduced in 1941 for the U.S military, the Jeep Willys greatly contributed to the war effort in providing unsurpassed mobility in the rough terrains of Europe and Asia. From there on, Jeep became a family name in America. Its popularity and capability spawned off a number of different models for everyday use. Still to this day Jeep remains true to its roots making vehicles that are great on and off the road.
A person who drives a jeep definitely bought it to at least go off the road a little if not often. They certainly did not buy it for its bumpy and noisy on road characteristics. High ground clearance, aggressive tires, good approach and deproach angles and of course four-wheel drive make for good qualities in a Jeep. A common moderate off road experience might go something like this. You turn off the road and proceed down a small hill. Muddy ruts are clues that you’re not the first to take this path. When your Jeep leaves the side of the road and heads down this muddy trail it really begins to shine. Now with all four wheels kicking up mud into the air and the roar of the engine singing a harmonious note of power it rapidly moves forward, sometimes slowing as the mud becomes quite deep. The once clean and shiny body becomes covered in a myriad of thick smelly goo, water, and small stones. After running through the deep ruts and climbing out onto a dry plateau, its time to navigate around some trees and go on with your adventure. An open area presents itself. Slick surface mud provides for a chance to fishtail and spin in circles to your hearts content. Once back into the woods, the trail is rather dry until you race through a deep puddle drenching the entire vehicle warranting the use of the windshield wipers. A decent down a small hill reveals an entirely different landscape. It is a tree-covered lowland demanding precise navigation and control. If you manage to maneuver successfully through there is now a small creek to cross. Nose first is how you go in slowly creeping down the riverbank. The sandy bottom almost swallows you as your tires trudge through, struggling for traction. A quick shift into low range allows you to jump up the other side of the embankment. Some more ruts and deep puddles are traversed and finally the end of the trail is ahead. It’s not over yet. The most impressive and challenging obstacle lies ahead. A steep hill almost impossible to walk up leads out between the thick brush. With lots of throttle and a prayer the Jeep launches up clawing at the loose gravel and dirt. Emerging from the trailhead like a mighty lion, the Jeep makes its presence known. A short drive along a dirt road brings you back to civilization as you merge back onto the road. Now you sit waiting at a light as another jeep pulls up along side you, streaks of mud adorning the body. You nod your head as you both raise your fingers of the steering wheel, it’s a jeep thing you wouldn’t understand
 
Da brainstorm o' laivin' da damn pavement in some ride may seem some tiny-ass
funky t' some kinda' sucka's. In fact da damn only off road 'esploit dat most
Caddys will eva' spot be when they be forced t' park on da grass at some
relashuns picnic o' da damn Lord forbid dair wheels vea' off da side o' da damn
driveway as they back out into da alley. Most individuals have no need 4 deir
Caddy o' truck t' puh'form off road. None da damn less, da S-U-fuckin'-V craze
has caught America by storm literal-like. Every winta' sucka's steal foe wheel
roll trux an' S-U-fuckin'-V’s 4 da added tracshun in da snow an' ice. They even
make foe-wheel roll minivans now t' try an' regain dose-dair socca' moms who
have crossed ova' t' da damn testosterone driven side o' big-ass gas hog
monsta's known as da sport utility ride. Ah be baaad... Although real damn
practical 4 haulin' kids an' groceries in style even dese-he'ah 4 runna's,
Tahoes, an' Land Rova's hard-like eva' go off da asphalt. Dese-he'ah utes be
real damn capable in mud an' on rocky back roads wit' full time all wheel roll,
selectable 4lo an' tracshun control. Dair be one ride howeva' dat has built its
name upon da real damn rox an' hills on which it so's free-like roams
regular-like. Da “Jeep Wrangla'” it may even be one o' Americas fust Suvs. Fust
introduced in 1941 4 da U.S military, da Jeep Willys great-like contributed t'
da damn wah' effort in providin' unsurpassed mobility in da rough terrains o'
Europe an' Asia. From dair on, Jeep became some relashuns name in America. Its
popularity an' capability spawned off some numba' o' different models 4
everyday 'esploit. Still t' dis day Jeep remains true t'its roots makin' rides
dat be great on an' off da road. Some sucka' who rolls some jeep definite-like
stole it t'at laist go off da road some tiny-ass if not often. They
certain-like dun did not steal it 4 its bumpy an' noisy on road
characteristics. High ground clearance, aggressive tires, badass approach an'
deproach angles an' o' course foe-wheel roll make 4 badass qualities in some
Jeep. Some common moderate off road 'espuh'ience might go sump'n likes dis.
Slap me some skin. Yo' ass turn off da road an' proceed waaay down some
little-ass hill. 'S coo', bro. Muddy ruts be clues dat yo' ass’re not da damn
fust t' snatch dis pat'. Ya' know? When yo' Jeep laives da side o' da damn
road an' thinka's waaay down dis muddy trail it tru-ly begins t' shine. Now
wit' all foe wheels kickin' down mud into da air an' da damn roah' o' da damn
engine singin' some harmonious note o' powa' it rapid-like moves forward,
sometimes slowin' as da mud becomes quite deep. Da once clain an' shiny body
becomes covered in some myriad o' thick funky goo, wata', an' little-ass
stones. Ya' know? Afta' runnin' through da damn deep ruts an' climbin' out
onto some dry plataiu, its time t' navigate around some kinda' trees an' go on
wit' yo' adventure. Some jimmey arai presents itself. Woah, Nellie! Slick
surface mud provides 4 some chance t' fishtail an' spin in circles t' yo'
hearts content. Once back into da woods, da trail be ratha' dry until yo' ass
race through some deep puddle drenchin' da damn entire ride warrantin' da damn
'esploit o' da damn windshield wipa's. Some decent waaay down some little-ass
hill reveals some entire-like different landscape. It be some tree-covered
lowland demandin' precise navigashun an' control. If yo' ass manage t' maneuva'
successful-like through dair be now some little-ass creek t' cross. Nose fust
be how yo' ass go in slow-like creepin' waaay down da riverbank. Da sandy
bottom mos' swallows yo' ass as yo' tires trudge through, strugglin' 4
tracshun. Some quick shift into low range allows yo' ass t' jump down da otha'
side o' da damn embankment. Some kinda' mo' ruts an' deep puddles be traversed
an' final-like da fat-lady o' da damn trail be ahaid. It’s not ova' yet. Slap
mah 'fro! Da most impressive an' challengin' obstacle lies ahaid. Some steep
hill mos' impossible t'ankle down laids out between da thick brush. Wit' lots
o' throttle an' some praya' da damn Jeep launches down clawin' at da damn loose
gravel an' dirt. Emergin' from da trailhaid likes some mighty lion, da Jeep
makes its presence known. Some short roll along some dirt road brings yo' ass
back t' civilizashun as yo' ass merge back onto da road. Now yo' ass sit
waitin' at some light as anotha' jeep pulls down along side yo' ass, straiks o'
mud adornin' da damn body. Yo' ass nod yo' thinka' as yo' ass bot' raise yo'
finga's o' da damn rudderin' wheel, it’s some jeep shit yo' ass wouldn’t dig
 

Welcome Merlin and don't take this the wrong way or anything like that but what language are you speaking sir! Man you have most likely stumbled on to a humbling experence here if you plan to go on with that kind of sillyness. Get a grip and deal with the reality check here please. tug
 
Sorry I thought you were being for real! Been a long day and that really just caught me way off gaurd and again sorry! I missed the joke. tug :oops:
 
Very good Jeepdude. A well written paper about Jeeping.

Although I say we have very little mud in Utah (a rocky place) I have been able to find a few smallmud puddles ( very small concidering those I see from those back east ) I have been able to bathe Hollows Eve in a nice golden brown color for the last week.
I sat at a light the other day and I looked over at the flat landers staring at Hollow's Eve covered in mud and could see in there eyes the far off look of them dreaming of what it would be like in there own Jeep.

Just like they did as kids covered in mud in thier parents backyard with there Tonka-toy Jeep's rolling over the little mud hills then going through the mighty river of hose at full blast.

To own a Jeep is to be a big kid again. To those that lost the dream...they will never under stand...because it is a Jeep thing.
 

i'd have to say it is well done... i did see a few spelling errors, and some structural errors.. but nothing worth going back to criticize... good job
 
Nice job jeepdude. Paper seems great.

I think Merlin put your paper through a "Jive" translator. I saw it once, you can also translate into "swedish chef" or "Redneck". Pretty funny really.

I found the website: http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/

It will even translate the jeepz.com website.
 
OMG that is most definately funny now! I ran it through the redneck translator. LOL That one is more suited here I think and quite funny.

Thanks for the link Mingez!

Lady
 
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